A Survivor’s feelings:

  • A sense of alienation
  • Despair
  • Hyper-vigilance
  • Anger/ Rage
  • Fear
  • Occasional defenselessness or relapses into feeling like a child.
  • Hopelessness
  • Loss of attachment to family and friends
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Retaliation/ Ideations of vengeance
  • Passive suicidal thoughts
  • Uncontrolled roller-coaster of emotions
  • Defensiveness
  • Humor
  • Self-hatred/ Self-deprecation/ Self-sabotage
  • Stress from everything around them
  • Depression
  • Uncontrolled Aggression

 

Things that Survivor’s say before starting the healing process:

  • What is wrong with me?
  • Why do I feel so broken?
  • I have no idea why I lose control of my anger… so quickly.
  • Why do I feel so alone, even when I am surrounded by people?
  • What is wrong with me?
  • Why do I cry… uncontrollably?
  • Why can’t I have sex, get aroused?
  • Why do I always want sex?
  • Why do I really like watching horror movies?
  • What is it about inflicting pain on others that excites me?
  • Why do I like being hurt by others?
  • Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again? You would think that I should know better.
  • I never feel like I am the same as anyone else.
  • When I was a kid, I always thought I was from another planet.
  • Why can’t I get ahead when I am in therapy? Why doesn’t therapy work for me?
  • I do not like changes to my routine.
  • I hate my ________ and I do not know why.
  • I am afraid to let go of the things that keep me “safe”.
  • Why is that I cannot have a relationship with or trust other men/ older men/ women/ older women?
  • I feel that if I cannot control my anger I will hurt someone.
  • It annoys me that other people seem to walk through life without feeling miserable.
  • Why can’t I be happy?
  • If I don’t have my anger to keep me safe, how will I survive?
  • The healing process seems too overwhelming and potentially more painful than my current situation.
  • I don’t like being a victim.
  • I just do not feel complete.

 

Things that Survivor’s say after beginning to Heal:

  • Why did I wait so long to share my story?
  • Finally, I feel as though there are more people from my planet/ tribe all over the place.
  • I can’t believe how much pain I was willing to endure.
  • I am not a victim.
  • I am so freaking happy.
  • My story seems so ‘matter- of-fact’ now that I have begun to move through this.
  • I cannot believe how much easier life seems to be.
  • Here is one that I occasionally hear… “Why did I start this process? I feel so miserable know that I have opened up old wounds.” That is a short-lived feeling. It is equal to the “my clothes are tighter since I started working out with you…”
  • I never thought that I could live without my anger.
  • I love myself, my friends and my family.
  • I do not want any more drama in my life.
  • Why do people keep telling me that they don’t like who I have become?
  • I LOVE MY LIFE.
  • Why did I think that doing this would be worse than what I was experiencing?
  • My sex life is incredible… and guilt-free/ shame-free.
  • I feel so much lighter after I have let go of the heavy weight of my past.
  • I feel so good that I have done this and my kids have seen me turn my life around.
  • I find that I am no longer reacting to things that have made me lose it before.

A Survival Checklist

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *